The Federal Republic of Tesco Aisle 17 is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate, ubiquitous missile silos, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 766 million Tesconians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Garden City. The average income tax rate is 45.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Tesconian economy, worth 76.7 trillion Meal Deals a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 100,112 Meal Deals, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Mathematicians are hated by children across the country, the cruise missile launchers on the field hospital roof are purely deterrent in purpose, to 'cut off family ties' is no longer just a phrase, and foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tesco Aisle 17's national animal is the Clubcard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tesco Aisle 17 is ranked 42,094^th in the world and 1,439^th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 51.96 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.